5 Heart Smart Steps for Anger Management


Five Heart Smart Steps for Anger Management

Conflict happens to everyone. 

For persons with hidden differences these conflicts can be invisible until there are so many that the person explodes. One hurt builds upon another hurt and no one sees it happening. Conflict self-care is an individual responsibility, but how can we manage it before it grows out of control especially if we deal with FASD, ADHD, SID, ASD and all those other silly D’s.

Some of the things that may cause hidden conflicts others do not see or understand:

  • When I am blamed for something I didn’t do, it is easy to immediately go on the defense because I am not able to confidently dance verbally around the reality. I don’t know what words to use to protect myself so I go off to keep the person away.
  • When someone uses a big voice instead of speaking to me with kindness, I can feel the hard or aggressive tone and when I feel that tone I am triggered. It is different coming from a woman or a man. From a man it is deeper and I may be triggered quicker because I believe at that moment they are being mean and I react to protect myself. I go into defense to defend myself and I do it without thinking I simply react. With a woman when the voice is firm or bratty, it doesn’t make my heart jump so I am not on automatic snap, but I may still be rude to give myself time to think about what just happened. 
  • When plans are quickly changed it is overwhelming and frustrating because I have worked my schedule around the situation, and navigated  to get there which can be very difficult on public transportation or relying on another person. I even have to sometimes reschedule my medication times to make an appointment work, so I can be functional at that appointment. I know people without my differences don’t understand the extreme rudeness change is for me and how it affects my life.  

1. When your heart is upside down – BREATHE first!


BREATHE – Something has turned your heart upside down… frustration, confusion, bully behaviors, overwhelming situations or just life in general. Realize emotions you may consider negative like anger and pain are not always bad.  

  • BREATHE deeply into you belly until you can hold no more air think ‘I can get through this, I can handle this, I can do this.’ (One way is to count in 7 short breaths)
  • BREATHE out your feelings of hurt or anger until you have no air left in your lungs and you need to take another breath. Repeat. (One way is to blow out 8 – 1 long breath and the 7 short breaths)
  • Do this as many times as you need to… Repeat – repeat – repeat

If breathing is not working – 

2. Place your hands together and press hard


PRESS YOUR HANDS TOGETHER HARD (like praying flat hands) AND BREATHE- Continue breathing and press your hands together hard. This is when I say “_______, give me love, peace, joy and understanding.” 
  • RAISE YOUR PRESSED HANDS ABOVE YOUR HEAD AND BREATHE  –  This helps the tightness I feel in my shoulders, arms and neck. I continue to I say “_______, give me love, peace, joy and understanding.” 
  • RAISE YOUR PRESSED HANDS ABOVE YOUR HEAD, MAKE A BIG CIRCLE OUT AND BREATHE  –  This helps the tightness I feel in my shoulders, arms and neck. I continue to I say “_______, give me love, peace, joy and understanding” or sometimes by this time I can simply be quiet…. 
If I am still overwhelmed – 

3. Grasp your hands together and hang on for the ride!


GRASP YOUR HANDS TOGETHER (like folded praying hands) AND HOLD ON TIGHT NOW  BREATHE- Continue breathing and grasp your hands together hard. This is when I say “_______, give me love, peace, joy and understanding. Against such things there is no law.” Try to relax your hands as you breathe.

  • RAISE YOUR GRASPED HANDS ABOVE YOUR HEAD AND BREATHE  –  This helps the tightness I feel in my shoulders, arms and neck. I continue to I say “_______, give me love, peace, joy and understanding. Against such things there is no law.” Try to relax your hands as you breathe.
  • RAISE YOUR GRASPED HANDS ABOVE YOUR HEAD, MAKE A BIG CIRCLE OUT AND BREATHE  –  This helps the tightness I feel in my shoulders, arms and neck. I continue to I say “_______, give me love, peace, joy and understanding. Against such things there is no law.” Try to relax your hands as you breathe. Usually by this time I am ready for a walk or thinking time. 
Open your new heart – 

4. From your praying or grasped hands open your hands into a new heart – now right side up!


  • TAKE A MOMENT FOR YOURSELF – Give yourself a pat on the back for stepping through another hard place. Go for a walk, listen to music that is peaceful, look at something in nature that is beautiful to you (clouds, flowers, trees, animals). 

Take the next step – 

5. Reach out to another person and share your new wisdom.  

  • IF YOU LEARNED SOMETHING NEW from this experience of riding your anger safely through a cycle let someone you love know what happened, how you managed it, what you plan to do again and what the person can do to help you navigate this if needed. 

  Do the best that you can.

 Each one of us can reach another in kindness and love. 

Do something for another today.


Special thank you to POWER PEOPLE
Sam, Liz and David – for their counsel in the development of this program. 
Please share in fullness with our connections –  2013 Better Endings New Beginnings

Need to encourage your place of faith to have a
special needs inclusive ministryRead more

#3 Days To FASDay – Dog takes a stand on fetal alcohol

If a dog can do it so can we!

Each one of us can reach a new person this coming year. For those of us who live with the realities of FASD, it is our job to share this knowledge. 

Last year we asked…

Could we use the woof of a dog to build FASD awareness?

So Chancer, Iyal Winokur’s service dog woofed in …

  • The New York Times (February 2012) Wonder Dog – A golden retriever reaches a raging boy by Melissa Fay Greene
  • Readers Digest Canada (May 2012-Pages 84-91) Creature Comfort – A golden retriever did what the Winokur family could not—he befriended an soothed their raging son by Melissa Fay Greene
  • Guidepost (September 2012)  A Dog’s Devotion Brings Healing— She had no idea how severe her adopted son’s problems would be—or what form the answer to her prayers would take. By Donnie Kanter Winokur, Roswell, Georgia
  • Entro Magazine (June 2012-Pages 24-25) Building Bridges to Success for Children Living with Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorders
  • Adoption Today (October 2012) shhhh…. it’s coming! 
  • Another potential BIG SURPRISE – keep posted to Silent Voices Blog and be the first to know!

How can you take a stand…
  • Miss Illinois talked about FASD when she represented Southern Illinois – she is an expert from the inside out
  • Karl Kulp told his classmates at his 50th Class Reunion – “The most important thing I have done in my life, that I am the most proud – is raising my daughter who lives with the daily challenges of fetal alcohol into an interdependent adulthood.” 

Stand up in your congregation this weekend! And share your story!


If we want to create an “REAL” Economic Stimulus Package – now is the time to begin promoting “Building Better Baby Brains” by Raising the Standard for the Future – Alcohol and Babies don’t mix and add to the future cost of education, medical, community and judicial services.
  • Join our virtual Million Mind March to give One Million Babies in the next year the opportunity to develop healthy minds

Participate in a Local Radio Show and Get Your Events Talked About
Call your local radio show and see if you can get on a program to talk about FASD during the next 60 days. You may just open up some minds and save a few baby brain cells.
Visit:

Step out, speak out, get out and make some friendly noise to build awareness of FASD – fetal alcohol spectrum disorders.

#4 Days To FASDay – FREE STUFF Be a poster poster

Become a Poster Poster!

©http://www.fasstar.com/

Get your school involved this month… involve your health teachers… high schoolers give a presentations to your elementary and middle schools –

Print out some FREE – FASD Awareness posters and hang them up on local bulletin boards, at the store, the laundromat, churches, universities, etc. You might even get your local schools to post them.

Little One” everybody’s favorite poster

NOFAS Posters and Brochures

If you print these out yourself on photo paper at “best” resolution on your color printer they will have a high quality appearance. You can have large posters printed for just a few dollars at your local print or copy shop. Even one may be seen by hundreds of people.

PURCHASE A SET OF BOOKS FOR YOUR ELEMENTARY SCHOOL TO HELP EXPLAIN FETAL ALCOHOL SPECTRUM DISORDERS TO STUDENTS IN A KIND AND GENTLE WAY – Prevent Bully Behaviors against children with FASD this school years.


Click book to purchase and use $3.00 coupon code Direct links provided for discount – Just add coupon code JZLZLVT2 to order Nuzzle, My Invisible World, Braided Cord, Whitest Wall or Our FAScinating Journey – you can simply click special link for each book provided below. Any reviews or comments on our books are appreciated. Happy September 9 – for larger quantity please message me and I can get you a deal.

PLUS THIS IS FREE E-CURRICULUM FOR Elementary Schools From Chancer!!!!!



Speaking, workshops or wholesale books contact: www.betterendings.org or jodeekulp@gmail.com

$3.00 Gift for each book from the Kulp and Winokur Families to build awareness this month. Additional or classroom quantities please contact us:

NEW! 3rd Revision Our FAScinating Journey -Keys to Brain Potential Along the Path of Prenatal Brain Injury – (2012)https://www.createspace.com/3579462
The Whitest Wall (2012) – A Mystery novel
Braided Cord (2010) – Liz’s adult transition with FASD

#5 Days To FASDay – Fetal Alcohol Awareness Month

Write a PSA!
Or use one that already exists –

September is Fetal Alcohol Awareness Month – so share this wonderful PSA with friends – or take a look at some of the other great PSA’s online – most of the people working with FASD Awareness willingly share –

This was created by a 2009 high school graduate in a tiny rural KY county – he’s got real talent, and I’m so grateful to him for taking the time to do this. Please feel free to pass it on – I want Parker and his fabulous PSA to get a lot of views today!!

Happy FASD Awareness Day from Kentucky!
Laura Nagel

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k_USXRi8zt8

#7 Days To FASDay – You only need one minute

More Ideas for Minute of Reflection


Everyone participating in FAS Day is invited to share in the “Minute of Reflection” 9:09 a.m. on September 9, as it goes around the world.

In this magical moment the ninth minute of the ninth hour of the ninth day of the ninth month we want to get out the message that in the nine months of pregnancy, while breastfeeding or planning to conceive, women should not drink alcohol.
In this minute, we also want the world to remember those millions of people around the world who are living with fetal alcohol disorders. If a large bell or carillon is not accessible or appropriate, participants can do many things to observe that special minute in accordance with their own cultural background or religious beliefs.

The Minute of Reflection symbolizes the worldwide circle of community which links all of us who care about FASD, all of us who are working towards prevention, all of us who are trying to help children and adults with fetal alcohol disorders reach their full potential. Here are nine more suggestions for observing the Minute of Reflection. If you have other ideas, please share them with us.

  • Alone or with others, sit outside quietly and listen to the birds, or the wind blowing through the trees, or water lapping against the shore of a river or lake. You may want to focus on the wonderful gifts and strengths of the person(s) with FASD in your life.
  • Say a prayer or recite a poem appropriate to your beliefs or culture.
  • Sing a song or hymn.
  • Listen to an excerpt of your favorite music. (Any suggestions?)
  • Play a musical instrument, alone, or with fellow musicians, or ring tiny bells and “triangles” as the children of Queen of Apostles School, Toledo, OH did at 9:09 a.m. on September 9, 1999.
  • Sit in a circle and share some pure spring water with people you care about.
  • Place a long-distance phone call to a special friend who is equally committed to the FASD issue: you could even make it a three-way or teleconference call.

You may find 9:09 a.m. inconvenient and may prefer to mark the Minute of Reflection at 9:09 p.m., and light a candle to symbolize both the flame of your love for individuals living with FASD, and your burning desire to eradicate this preventable birth defect.
Simple silence.
Each person with FASD is different, and those of us who love them respect their differences. Respecting each other while working together is what FASDay is about.

#8 Days To FASDay – Write a letter to the first lady

How to Write a Letter to 

First Lady Michelle Obama


Dear First Lady Obama
let me tell you about FASD

As part of International FASD Awareness Day, please join us in this easy, free activity to help raise awareness of FASD at the highest levels of our government.

This idea originated with Tami Eller, a member of our local FASD Council.
Cheri Scott, FASD Family Support Project
Stone Soup Group
www.stonesoupgroup.org

If you would like to write a letter to First Lady Michelle Obama there are certain steps you need to follow. While you may feel comfortable writing letters to your friends and family this letter needs to be formal and concise. Please follow these steps to correctly send the First Lady a letter.

________________________________

Dear First Lady Michelle Obama…

Let me tell you about FASD

International FASD Awareness Day Letter Writing Campaign

Did you know that First Lady Obama reads 10 letters each night written by everyday Americans?
Imagine if every letter the President read was written by someone whose life is impacted by Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorders.
If everyone affected by FASD writes to the First Lady prior to 9/9 then the probability of her opening even one letter regarding FASD is incredible.
The more letters, the higher the probability that all ten letters she reads will be written by those affected by FASD.

  • Are you a parent of a child with FASD, are you an adult with FASD?
  • Does your sibling have FASD?
  • Do you teach a child or an adult with FASD?
  • Are you a grandparent of a child with FASD?

For everyone person born affected by prenatal exposure to alcohol, everyone who loves that individual lives are also affected.

Join us in educating our First Lady regarding the most prevalent of all birth defects: Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorders.

Join us in asking our First Lady to ring a bell at 9:09 am on September 9, 2009 to recognize the importance of Nine Months of an Alcohol Free Pregnancy.

Tell your story of how Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorders have affected yourself and those you love.

Send First Lady Obama a letter to at:
First Lady Michelle Obama
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Ave NW
Washington, DC 20500

Send First Lady Obama an email by filling out the form at:
http://www.whitehouse.gov/contact

Talking Points

* The Facts:
* Fetal alcohol exposure is an international and national crisis
* Prenatal exposure to alcohol causes permanent brain damage
* Prenatal exposure to alcohol is the leading cause of mental retardation
* Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorders are 100% and easily preventable – simply no alcohol consumption during pregnancy
* Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorders are a life long disability – from cradle to grave
* More babies are born with Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorders than Autism Spectrum Disorders or Downs Syndrome
* There is no safe amount of alcohol to drink during pregnancy
* It is estimated that more than half of the prison population is affected by FASD
* Prenatal exposure to alcohol costs the United States millions of dollars a year to provide services to individuals affected by a FASD
* Early identification and intervention has huge impacts on the reduction of mental health concerns and behaviors resulting in legal intervention
* Even with early identification and intervention,individuals with a FASD will need to lifelong supports
* The Daily Realities of Living with Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorders

As a Parent:
* Struggles with you have raising your child with FASD
* Struggles you have explaining the invisible brain damage to others who deal with your child
* Struggle finding appropriate services for your child
* The lesson you have learned in your journey of raising a child affected by FASD
* Your dreams for your child

As an Adult affected by FASD
* Struggles you had to overcome in your lifetime
* Strengths and talents you have
* Accommodations that enable you to be successful

As a Profession working with individuals affected by FASD
* What systematically is working for your clients
* What systematically is not working for your clients
* Struggles your clients face on a daily basis
* Struggles you face on a daily basis in obtaining resources for your clients
* What resources are necessary for your clients to be successful
* What needs to happen
* Proclamation by the President of the United States recognizing September 9th as International Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorders Awareness Day and the importance of abstaining from alcohol during pregnancy
* Ask him to ring a bell at 9:09 am on September 9 in recognition of the individuals affected by FASD.
* Diagnostic teams in all 50 states to facilitate and identify early diagnosis and intervention
* More resources toward prevention and early intervention

#9 Days To FASDay – Speak Out on Fetal Alcohol

Prepare to give a speech

This is the first time Liz and I stepped out years ago at the 1st International FASDay –

You can do it too!

Here is my speech – feel free to use mine and adapt to your community.

Today is a day… International FAS Awareness Day — 9.9.99 @ 9:09
Jodee Kulp, Parent Keynote, Federal Courthouse Plaza, 12:30 pm — Minneapolis, Minnesota

Thank you for being part of International FAS Awareness Day 9 9 99.
The Bells have rung out in Minnesota and are continuing their journey around the globe. We were the 18th time zone in the International Bell Concordance and didn’t they sound beautiful! Thank you to the citizens of Minnesota and all those involved with prenatal exposure for the mighty effort they put out to make this day happen.

It is my privilege to speak on behalf of all the parents who love and live with children exposed to alcohol before birth. It is my privilege to speak for those who live daily with the primary and secondary issues erupting from this exposure.

Today is a day of awareness.
We have stripped back the dark covering and let the sun shine in. We have come together as a world family, united in the cause of making a difference and hope this first “One Magic Moment” will begin to change lives.

Today is a day of awareness.
Alcohol is devastating, and most devastating to the weakest and most vulnerable in our society — the unborn child. Alcohol exposure is the leading known cause of mental retardation in the western world – US, Canada, Europe and Australia.

In the United States 10,657 babies are born daily (1999 US numbers are listed below)

  • . . . 3 will have Muscular Dystrophy
  • . . . 4 will have Cystic Fibrosis
  • . . . 4 will have Spina Bifida
  • . . . 4 will be infected with HIV
  • . . . 10 of these babies will have Downs Syndrome.

Researcher and fund-raisers are working for these children.

But — are you ready for the figures —

  • . . . 20 babies will be born with FAS
  • . . . these children will have visible facial and other physical deformities
  • . . . they are the lucky ones

People will see with the eyes, understand and help will be provided. These physical manifestations are not caused by MORE drinking but simply because of the day in gestation the pregnant mother chose to drink.

Today is a day of awareness.
NOW — are you really ready for the tough issue

  • . . . 100 babies will be born with Fetal Alcohol Effects
  • . . . these children’s deformities will be hidden within their bodies, in their brains and organs.
  • Most will go undiagnosed.
  • Most will live a life with little help with behaviors misjudged and struggling with learning and emotional issues.

Today is a day of knowledge.
Brain damage is non-reversible and a permanent condition that an individual must live with for the rest of their life. The person with prenatal alcohol exposure does not have the choice of NOT being impaired, yet has the responsibility of learning to live and to fit into a society that neither tolerates nor understands their impulsive behaviors.

Today is a day of knowledge.
Any one of us could become the parent of a prenatally exposed infant. FAS is no respector of persons or culture. It crosses economic and racial lines. The results of a very recent survey of over 100,000 women discovered that women in households of greater than $50,000 income, women who are college educated, unmarried women and female students have a higher than average incidence of drinking during pregnancy. I ask that no fingers be pointed at any person for this affliction. I ask for forgiveness from the past. I ask for a resolution of personal responsibility from this day forward for even one child to be saved.

Today is a day of knowledge.
A can of beer, a glass of wine, a shot of liquor and a wine cooler all contain about 1/2 oz. of absolute alcohol. If a woman consumes 2 drinks in one hour, her baby could have a blood alcohol content higher than the mother could. FAS is 100% preventable. If a woman becomes pregnant, she shouldn’t drink. It’s that simple. There is no known safe amount of alcohol for a pregnant woman. When a woman drinks, her baby drinks, because alcohol passes directly through the placenta to the baby.

Today is a day of hope.
When we join together we can achieve a better tomorrow. The knowledge each of us holds can provide the tiny pieces of a large puzzle to help contribute to the success and happiness of those afflicted. Together we can provide knowledge, wisdom, support and encouragement to women who are planning to conceive, pregnant or breastfeeding a child. This we can all do with love.

Today is a day of hope.
Solutions require us to work together. Doctors, researchers and nutritionists around the world can share their discoveries and treatments that are already making a difference. Mental health professionals, educators and parents can join as a team to reach, teach and train these young people, sharing ideas from around the globe.

Today is a day of hope.
We must open our eyes and our ears. We must shift our focus and understand the inner world of living with prenatal exposure. We must begin to see these children differently, and begin to build the bridge of understanding. Diane Malbin a tireless advocate provides the clues by changing from:

  • “Won’t to can’t”
  • “Bad to frustrated”
  • “Lazy to tries hard”
  • “Refuses to sit still to overstimulated”
  • ‘”Fussy and demanding to oversensitive”
  • “Trying to make me mad to can’t remember”
  • “Resisting to doesn’t get it”
  • “Doesn’t try to tired of failing.”
  • “Doesn’t get the obvious to needs many reteachings.”

Yes it is hard to be the parent of an FAS child.
Yes it is hard to be the teacher of an FAS child.
But have you tried to be the FAS child!

Our adopted daughter Liz exhibits Fetal Alcohol Effects. Our family has grown deeply because of it. The primary issues of hypersensitivity, overstimulation, night terrors and learning disabilities have challenged us.
We have struggled with impulsivity, low self-esteem, anger and frustration.
We are determined to prevent the secondary issues from occurring – violence, suicide, alcohol abuse, poverty, homelessness, delinquency, incarceration, and early pregnancy.
We have discovered that proper nutrition, added nutrients and sleep make an incredible difference and allow Liz to function very well.
We have discovered she is happiest when provided clear boundaries and concrete communication.
We have discovered her learning styles and teach everything in multiple modalities….see it, hear it, do it. With a strong emphasis on doing it.

I am proud Liz is my daughter and she is doing wonderfully. This growth did not come easily for her. She is a fighter and has climbed many mountains. In a quiet one-on-one teaching arrangement she has been able to gain 5 years in reading, 7 years in spelling and is currently at age level in mathematics. Learning any new material has been very difficult for her. We have been building one very tiny step at a time, without moving on until mastery has taken place and then often reteaching areas a number of times.
Though her brain still works compartmentally we are beginning to see transfer of some information and together we are learning how to teach and how to learn. She and I are on the same team. By “compartmentally” I mean, for example, that when are doing spelling she can spell at the 9th grade level and when we are learning to write she can spell at the 6th grade level. The transfer of information is very difficult for her.
Two weeks ago, my daughter Liz and I bought a peck of cucumbers to make into pickles. Our science classes are very hands on and we were going to study sterilization and Louis Pasteur. We washed and carefully brushed each cucumber so they were perfectly clean – they were beautiful. Then we soaked the cucumbers overnight in a 5% salt solution. In the morning the cucumbers looked the same, but no longer tasted the same. We cut up garlic and dill and red peppers, and boiled vinegar, salt and water with pickling spices. We packed sterilized jars tightly with our beautiful bright green cucumbers and poured on the brine. Then we sealed the jars and boiled them 20 minutes in a hot water bath. When we lifted the jars out of the water a dull green pickle had replaced the bright green cucumbers…
And I thought THIS IS WHAT we have done to these children.

Today is a day of advancement. Growing up with FAS is a community process and it takes a united community to raise these children. It took one dream and two people to create the vision for today — Bonnie Buxton and Teressa Kellerman.
They believed:
‘The oscillation of butterfly wings in Brazil may set off storms in Texas.’
And what a storm they set off. They mobilized and motivated individuals from around the globe. From New Zealand to Alaska people have united. The Internet has connected a previously silent world of creative, intelligent and hardworking individuals willing to lay down differences for a common cause of helping children and adults living with FAS
Where do we go from here?…
These children are teachable, lovable, creative and energetic but they do not learn like other children. They need to be taught things other children just seem to simply know. We need to discover the resources already available and we have powerful resources in our backyards — birth parents, adoptive parents and foster parents who are living, loving and growing together 24 hours a day with prenatal exposure. These families have been creative in developing processes that work to help their children succeed and find happiness in a world they struggle in.

I challenge each of you to make a difference.

  • Tell people this is an important issue.
  • Join with NOFAS www.nofas.org and share ideas and information.
  • Visit our website at http://www.betterendings.org/
  • Email your successful ideas to us. We will publish them.
  • Encourage women to remain alcohol and drug free during pregnancy.
  • Write to your congressman, senators, schools, community leaders and medical professionals and let them know “We’re Tired of Our Children Being Pickled.”

Today is the day to make a difference.
My words on this 1st hopefully of many future International FASDays are dedicated to my wonderful Liz. May we begin this difference in changing this world for others together.

Speak Out in Your Community and open the minds of others to Help Raise the Standard to Build Better Baby Brains
Join the International Virtual Million Mind March

If we want to create an “REAL” Economic Stimulus Package – now is the time to begin promoting “Building Better Baby Brains” by Raising the Standard for the Future – Alcohol and Babies don’t mix and add to the future cost of education, medical, community and judicial services.
  • Join our virtual Million Mind March to give One Million Babies in the next year the opportunity to develop healthy minds
Participate in a Local Radio Show and Get Your Events Talked About
Call your local radio show and see if you can get on a program to talk about FASD during the next 60 days. You may just open up some minds and save a few baby brain cells.
Visit:
Step out, speak out, get out and make some friendly noise to build awareness of FASD – fetal alcohol spectrum disorders.
Tomorrow I will share the first speech I fearfully spoke on 09.09.99 at the 1st Annual FASDay – sadly the same message still needs to be heard.
Enjoy coming up with GREAT ideas – we’d love to hear from you!

#11 Days To FASDay – Tie Some Knots

Let’s Knot to be Silent
INSTRUCTIONS TO TIE YOUR OWN FASKnots

By Bonnie Buxton,
author Damaged Angels
co-founder International FASDay
Re-printed from December ICEBERG 2008

In January of 1999, while digging out from a Toronto snowstorm, my husband Brian Philcox and I realized that September 9, 1999 (9-9-99), would present an opportunity to inform the world that during the nine months of pregnancy, alcohol is dangerous to the baby.

Within 24 hours, Teresa Kellerman of Tucson, Arizona, had contributed her creativity and Internet genius by encouraging volunteers in seven countries and 11 time zones to participate in the first International FAS Awareness Day.

Because every ribbon colour had been taken by other causes, Brian and I spent several hours developing the FASKnot symbol in honor of the first book about Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, Michael Dorris’s “The Broken Cord.”

Ten years later, the events continue and now we challenge FASD advocates to take advantage of 2009 to build awareness all year long, particularly on 09-09-09. This year in Canada, FASDay events included a major conference, some candlelight vigils, “mocktail” competitions, breakfasts, luncheons, a play, and one brave woman with ARND speaking out for the first time to a group of university students. Many of these events brought media attention to FASD, building awareness in the community.

Join the movement to Build Better Baby Brains Let’s Raise the Standard

Jodee

#14 Days To FASDay – Plan a Pregnant Pause!

Host a Pregnant Pause… in your community… at your school… at your government center… get some attentions









How many Pregnant Pauses can we host around the world….

Need some t-shirts to sport a look….
Visit www.cafepress.com/fasdawareness 

#18 Days To FASDay – Two minute talk

Get a local or national interview – give it a try!
Give a Two Minute Talk
Here’s Teresa Kellerman’s for 09.09.09

Teresa’s Two Minute Talk
(I was asked to share my personal story of raising a child with FAS, and I was limited to just two minutes!)

Hello, I am John’s Mom.

That’s how I am known across the US and around the world. You see, John is famous. Not because he has Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, but because he allows his story to be told around the world, in order to raise awareness about Fetal Alcohol Disorders.

Thirty years ago, a baby was born to an alcoholic mother who did not have the gift of recovery. The baby suffered with birth defects and brain damage. The mother died.The baby came to me as a special needs foster child, one of many I cared for over the years. This baby soon became my own through adoption.

As an infant, John cried all the time, and could not be consoled. He didn’t want to be touched or cuddled, as if he rejected all love. But by the time he was two, he was a happy little guy – hyper, but happy.

Over the years, he has struggled with developmental delays and learning disorders. He had a heart defect that required open-heart surgery. This was traumatic for him and for me. But it was nothing compared to the day-to-day struggle he has with not being able to control his behavior.

John inherited alcoholism from his birth parents. To help him survive addiction, we maintain a drug free home, with no access to alcohol or other dangerous drugs.

John also needs help to survive his Fetal Alcohol disorder. His brain damage causes him to forget rules, to be impulsive, and to have poor judgment. So John requires close supervision at all times. This is has not been easy for me, and it is certainly not easy for John. But with understanding and acceptance, he trusts me to help him stay safe and healthy and happy

I am proud of John, and I am blessed to be his mother. And we are both blessed to be surrounded by loving friends here in Tucson and around the world through the Internet.

We are grateful for the support of the Division of Developmental Disabilities and are happy to share that support with other families through the Fetal Alcohol Resource Center.